Navigating the Middle: Emotional Intelligence Is Your Edge
Why calm, clarity, and EQ = your career superpower
I’ve been fortunate enough to have been mentored by some of the best leaders in the world. But my first role as a people leader? A doozy.
I was handed a team of seasoned experts with different skill sets and tenures. Some of them were my peers just weeks earlier...now reporting to me. It was awkward.
Correction: I felt awkward.
I was not only responsible for their success at the company, but now...their career trajectory, which, frankly, scared me to death.
What I didn’t have in seniority, I made up for with emotional intelligence. I didn’t pretend to know it all. Instead, I leaned into being a cheerleader, player, coach, and occassional friend—empowering my team to be their best selves and tackle challenges with poise and perspective. I constantly reminded them (and myself): we’re doing important work, but we’re not saving lives.
As you grow in your career, success is less about what’s handed to you and more about how you move when the path isn’t marked. It’s about learning how to advocate for yourself, operate in ambiguity, and move with calm confidence, especially in matrixed organizations where influence often matters more than title.
Here are a few lessons I often share with students and early-to-mid-career professionals I mentor:
1. Self-Awareness Is Your Starting Line
Knowing yourself is the baseline for everything—how you show up in meetings, how you respond to pressure, and how others experience you.
Pro tips:
Pay attention to what triggers stress or frustration for you. The goal isn’t to avoid those moments, but to recognize them early and choose how you respond instead of reacting on autopilot.
Notice how you react when you’re not in control—then practice pausing instead of spiraling.
Ask your peers for feedback on your communication or work style. “What’s it like to work with me?” is a powerful, important question.
2. Operate with Calm in the Chaos
Corporate life is full of shifting priorities, messy org charts, and curveballs. People with strong emotional intelligence don’t resist the chaos—they learn to move through it with clarity and calm.
Pro tips:
When something unexpected happens, ask yourself: What’s needed from me right now?
Don’t confuse urgency with importance. Take a break before reacting to that email or late-night Slack.
Your tone and body language matter. Stay grounded, especially when others aren’t.
3. Build Influence Through Empathy
In matrixed orgs, success isn’t about hierarchy—it’s about relationships. Emotional intelligence helps you build real influence by understanding what others need and meeting them there.
Pro tips:
Lead with curiosity. Ask about other teams' goals or priorities before pitching your own.
Listen for what’s not being said in meetings.
Empathy is a strategic skill; use it to uncover wins or gain new friends.
4. Don’t Just Do the Work—Shape the Energy
People remember how you made them feel far more than how you built a beautiful pitch deck. The energy you bring into a room - or a Zoom meeting - sets the tone.
Pro tips:
Show gratitude loudly and often. Recognition isn’t reserved for annual reviews.
Regulate your emotions, especially when the stakes are high.
Lead with perspective. A little humor or humility can instantly shift the vibe.
5. Advocate for Yourself with Clarity, Not Ego
Emotional intelligence doesn’t mean staying quiet or playing small. It means advocating with confidence and care.
Pro tips:
Speak up about your accomplishments in the context of your team, organization, or business impact.
Use “I” statements to express what you need or where you’d like support.
Know when to listen, when to lean in, and when to step back to see the bigger picture.
Final Thought: Titles and accolades will always matter, but emotional intelligence is what builds your brand. It’s what makes people trust you, want to work with you, and invite you into rooms you didn’t even ask to be in.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. And being honest, almost 20 years in...I'm still learning. But if you can learn to lead with emotional intelligence, you’re already ahead of the game!