How to Take Rejection to the Chin

Even when it comes with a spinning back fist to the ego

Aug 04, 2025

Six months ago, while on vacation in Panama, I sat up in bed with a glass of wine, opened Canva, and started piecing together a vision board. It was my second year in a row doing it - something I never imagined I’d be into, but here we are. Last year, it was a playful experiment. This year, it felt like ritual. I pulled images from Google: dreamy travel destinations, tender relationship goals, career milestones, affirmations about rest, resilience, and becoming. I layered in words like overflow, alignment, elevation. It became a mosaic of everything a grown woman in her 40s might crave -love, legacy, and soft landings.

And yet…here I am in August, holding a string of L’s like pearls around my neck.

The ideal job didn’t come through.

The friendship fizzled.

The speaking gig ghosted.

The pitch was ignored.

And that one thing I knew was mine? It wasn’t.

Let’s be clear: I’m not new to disappointment. I’m a Black woman in America who’s built a life, a career, and a sense of self that doesn’t crumble with a “no.” But this season has been a masterclass in how rejection hits different when you’ve done the work. When you’ve gone to therapy. When you set intentions. When you thought you were aligned. I’ve paid my dues.

So, I’ve been reflecting…hard…on rejection. And here’s where I landed: rejection isn’t always the universe being cruel. Sometimes, it’s divine clarity. Sometimes, it’s grace in disguise. And most times, it’s just not that deep.

Vision Boards vs. Real Life

There’s something humbling about seeing your vision board collect dust while life drags you through a series of plot twists. But the real lesson isn’t in what didn’t happen, it’s in how you respond. Rejection doesn’t always mean you did something wrong. It doesn’t always mean you weren’t enough. Sometimes, it means that opportunity, that person, that path simply wasn’t your fit. And if you let your ego sit down for a second, you’ll start to realize: misalignment is protection.

That job? Maybe it would’ve burned you out.

That man? Maybe he didn’t have the emotional capacity you needed.

That opportunity? Maybe it would’ve boxed you in instead of setting you free.

I’m learning to treat rejection like a GPS reroute: I don’t need to know where the detour is taking me yet. I just need to trust that I’m still in motion.

How to Take It to the Chin

Here’s how I’ve been navigating these L’s - and no, it doesn’t involve a “just stay positive” speech. I’m not here to gaslight myself into pretending disappointment doesn’t sting like hell. It does. But these practices help me stay grounded:

1. Let yourself feel it.

Rejection isn’t a sign of weakness. Feeling hurt, confused, or even a little embarrassed is human. Cry if you need to. Journal. Call your homegirl. But give that feeling a start and an end—not a permanent address in your spirit.

2. Don’t personalize the “no.”

Not every “no” is about you. Sometimes the budget changes. Sometimes the timing is off. Sometimes they just don’t see the vision, and that doesn’t make you any less brilliant.

3. Revisit your “why.”

When the outcome doesn’t go your way, come back to your intention. Why did you want that thing in the first place? Is there another route to that outcome? Your vision board might not be wrong, it just might need a new timeline or new method.

4. Get quiet.

Every time I’ve been rejected, something better eventually showed up, but only when I made space to receive it. That means less scrambling, less forcing, more stillness. Sometimes rejection is a pause, not a punishment.

5. Move on like it’s beneath you (because maybe it was).

This one is for your ego: keep it pushing. You didn’t get it? Cool. That just freed you up for something that wants you back.

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The Blessing in the “No”

I know it’s trendy to talk about redirection & divine timing, but let’s be real, it still hurts in the moment. Especially when you were sure. Especially when you had receipts. Especially when you thought this was it.

But here’s what I know after a few decades of loving, losing, winning, failing, and getting back up: rejection builds muscle. It sharpens discernment. It teaches you not to chase things that aren’t chasing you back. It clears the noise so you can hear yourself again.

Six months into the year, nothing on my vision board has fully materialized. But you know what? I’m still glad I made it. Because that board is a mirror. It reflects not just what I want, but who I’m becoming in the process of waiting, evolving, letting go, and trying again.

So the next time rejection knocks, I won’t spiral. I’ll square up, take it to the chin, and remind myself: