Aim Higher, Ask Louder: The Power of Dreaming Big (Out Loud)
For the past decade, I’ve worked in tech, specifically at FAANG-level companies where the ceilings are high, but the rooms are still overwhelmingly male, white, and confident. During that time, I mastered quite a few life cheat codes: how to lead with clarity, how to translate business problems into tech solutions, how to hold my own in high-stakes meetings. But perhaps the most powerful skill I learned wasn’t about strategy or code - it was this:
I learned how to aim higher and ask for more.
And it changed everything.
This wasn’t a muscle I grew up flexing. I wasn’t raised in a world where people told me to dream bigger than I already dared to. As a Black woman, I was taught to be grateful. To be twice as good. To work hard, stay humble, and wait my turn. Meanwhile, I watched men around me -colleagues, peers, even interns -ask for salaries at the top of the band without flinching. I saw them go after roles they were only half-qualified for. I watched them speak up in rooms they’d barely earned access to. And I couldn’t help but wonder:
What would it feel like to be that audacious?
The Thread That Sparked Something Bigger
A few weeks ago, I posted a thread that simply said:
“Stop applying to be the assistant when you should be applying to be the Director.”
I meant it both literally and metaphorically. Too many of us, especially women -especially women of color - shrink ourselves before the world ever has a chance to. We aim for the safe role, the middle of the band, the just-barely-qualified job because we’ve been told over and over that we’re “lucky to be here.”
But the thread took off in ways I didn’t expect. My inbox filled with two types of messages:
Stories of people who felt seen - folks who had settled, who played it safe out of fear, imposter syndrome, or conditioning.
And stories of people who aimed high anyway - and got the job, the title, the salary, the life they wanted.
One woman told me she applied for a Director role she felt “underqualified” for, and landed it with a $40K salary increase. Another admitted she’d never negotiated her salary before, but after reading the thread, she asked for $20K more and got it.
It was beautiful. And it confirmed what I already knew deep down:
Most of us aren’t dreaming too big. We’re dreaming too small.
Where the Fear Comes From
Let’s name the fear for what it is. It’s not laziness. It’s not a lack of ambition. It’s not about imposter syndrome alone.
It’s conditioning.
We are raised in systems that teach us to be safe, to be small, to be agreeable. Especially if you’re a woman. Especially if you’re Black. Especially if you’re first-gen, immigrant, queer, neurodivergent—any identity that’s been historically underrepresented in the rooms where power lives.
We watch others advocate for themselves like it’s second nature while we quietly rehearse how to justify asking for $5K more, when we should be asking for $25K.
We spend hours tailoring resumes for coordinator roles when we’ve already been doing the work of a senior manager.
We tell ourselves we’re not ready, that we don’t have enough experience, that we need one more certification or blessing or title before we go for the thing we really want.
And the result?
We under-earn. We overwork. We stay stuck.
What Happens When You Aim Higher
Here’s what I’ve learned, both from my own journey and from the stories generously shared with me: You often get what you ask for. Hiring managers expect negotiation, salary bands are built with range for a reason, and most job descriptions are aspirational wish lists - not strict checklists. When you aim higher, you’re not being arrogant, you’re simply playing the game the way it was designed. You also grow into the role. No one starts out knowing everything, but if you trust your ability to learn and adapt, you’ll find that growth happens after you say yes, not before. Each time you advocate for yourself, you begin to rewrite your own narrative - one that’s likely been shaped by years of staying small, being grateful, and waiting for permission. And maybe most importantly, your courage becomes contagious. The bold moves you make today could quietly give someone else the green light to dream a little bigger tomorrow.
How to Start Aiming Higher
If this article feels like a call-in, here’s how to take the first step:
Audit your dreams. Are they based on your true desires—or just what feels safe and attainable?
Apply for the bigger role. The one that excites and terrifies you in equal measure. Even if you only meet 70% of the requirements.
Ask for more. Whether it's salary, support, flexibility, or visibility—stop accepting the minimum. You’re not being difficult. You’re advocating for your future.
Practice saying it out loud. Literally. In the mirror. To a friend. To your journal. Normalize the words “I want more.”
Track your progress. Every email you send, every job you apply for, every conversation where you spoke up for yourself, write it down. Let the receipts build your confidence.
Final Thoughts
You don’t have to wait for someone to “tap” you. You don’t need to hit every qualification. You don’t need to shrink your dreams to fit into someone else’s comfort zone. And the next time you find yourself doubting whether you’re “ready” for the next level, ask yourself this: